Post whatever is on your mind!!

[5.4MarkVIII]

I’ve long given up hope of societal stuff getting better. Starting to feel the same way about personal shit too

[ChickenLips]

your personal life is defined by what you'll tolerate. Knowing your boundaries and enforcing them cuts through the shit.

[5.4MarkVIII]

your personal life is defined by what you'll tolerate. Knowing your boundaries and enforcing them cuts through the shit.

Unfortunately not how it works in the real world when you have other people counting on you and are trapped by situations out of your control. You get to scramble and claw to save what you can as you watch everything you have worked for slowly get peeled away one thing at a time.

[ChickenLips]

Sounds like your describing inflation, not personal relationships. If that's the case, I feel your pain.

There's a term called "frame". Either you're operating within someone else's frame, or your own frame. Operating within your own frame is "put your own mask on first, then help your neighbor". Seems subtle. I was guilty of setting myself on fire to keep others warm for too long. In recent years I've switched to operating in my own frame. Life is better, even if external forces are eroding my empire.

[ZR]

While it sucks, sometimes you need to purge peeps from your life.

[ChickenLips]

Learning to say no is a skill and great way to weed out true friends from opportunists.

At a base level all relationships are transactional, the transaction could be as simple as an emotional bond (friendship). Learning to say no might shift an opportunist to friend. A child will forever ask for a cookie without doing their chores, but still worth keeping in your life.

A great book to learn this valuable skill is "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" by Manuel Smith. Learning to defend from manipulation (learning to diplomatically say no) is a key life skill. Learning to assist people in communicating with you is a key life skill.

[5.4MarkVIII]

I started saying no years ago. The result ended up being. I have no friends left. Every friend I had always wanted something but was never there when I needed something. When I stared saying no. I became the asshole who never wanted to help.

Current situation is different. Saying no and walking away is not an option.

[ChickenLips]

can’t recommend WISNIFG strongly enough.

[hammerhead]

Recently I was asked to paint a vintage motorcycle A Triumph. And because its a motorcycle and not as big as a car the consensus is to do it dirt cheap as I usually do for friends. I wanted to say no, but its a friend. When the conversation led to how much? This time I simple asked for a favour in return. Haven't heard from him since. That was in December.

[ChickenLips]

you got two answers for the price of one