Post up Good Jokes!

[Old Fart]

Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating.

She said: "How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?"

I replied: "He can smell she is ready . That's how nature works."

We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.

Again my girlfriend asked: "How does the ram knew when the ewe is ready for sex?"

I replied: "It's nature. He can smell she is ready."

We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow.

My girlfriend said: "This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can't smell when she is ready?"

I said: "Oh, yes; it's nature . All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex."

Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye.

She said: "Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19."

Surprised, "Why do you say that?" I asked her.

She replied: "You seem to have lost your sense of smell."

[Old Fart]

[92redragtop]

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[92redragtop]

2 Men died same day and became Ghosts. And this Conversation ensued between them

Ghost 1 : How did you even die?
Ghost2 : I was mistakenly locked up in a freezer. At first I was freezing and then I couldn't breathe and died.
Ghost 1 : Oh! What a sad way to die!
Ghost 2 : Yeah. How did you die?
Ghost 1 : I died of heart attack. I came back from work and saw a man's pair of shoe at my doorsteps. I rushed into the room and saw my wife naked alone on the bed. I searched everywhere including the kitchen, all the other bedrooms, I mean everywhere but I couldn't find the man! I just sat on the floor and suddenly developed a heart attack and died.
Ghost 2 : Did you check the refrigerator?
Ghost 1 : No
Ghost 2 : Idiot! You should have checked the refrigerator and both of us would have been alive by now.

[Ponyryd]

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son's house.
She knocked on the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?!" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work," the daughter-in- law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress," she explained." It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me"

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she whispered sensually.
"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?
He never heard the gunshot.

[Old Fart]

[The Newmare]

cow farts come from the dairy air......

[Old Fart]

[Old Fart]

[Mellow Yellow]

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