Post up Good Jokes!

[ZR]

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approaches the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor, and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passes the minister a $100 bill and walks away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says, "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulps, looks around, and says in a tiny voice, "Yes," then leans toward the pastor and hisses, "I thought we had a deal." The pastor puts a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispers, "She made me a better offer."

[RedSN]

Prince Charles .....

[KIDAGIN]

Senior Sex

nior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

[Ray721]

Lol that's seriously funny!


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[Ray721]

Snow is like a cock, its measured in inches, soft to the touch, cums when you least expect it and it never gets as deep as you'd like it. Driving in the snow is like eating pussy. If you don't slow down and pay attention you could slide into the asshole in front of you! BE CAREFUL THIS WINTER!


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[Ray721]

A 5 year old girl lives next to a vacant lot. When construction starts on the lot she starts to take notice naturally. And the workers let her hang around during coffee breaks and lunch breaks, and they soon give her easy tasks that make her feel important. She's the new mascot around the site. At the end of the week she even got a pay cheque of $10. Her mother suggested she put the money in savings at the bank. When they got there the teller asked the little girl how she got so much money at such a young age. And she said where. And she asks will she be working at the house again next week? And the girl said, " if those assholes at Home Depot deliver the fucking Sheetrock"


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[Slope]

A 5 year old girl lives next to a vacant lot. When construction starts on the lot she starts to take notice naturally. And the workers let her hang around during coffee breaks and lunch breaks, and they soon give her easy tasks that make her feel important. She's the new mascot around the site. At the end of the week she even got a pay cheque of $10. Her mother suggested she put the money in savings at the bank. When they got there the teller asked the little girl how she got so much money at such a young age. And she said where. And she asks will she be working at the house again next week? And the girl said, " if those assholes at Home Depot deliver the fucking Sheetrock"

That's a damn Winner right there!

Thanks.

[KIDAGIN]

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very
embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last
bit of clothing, she blushed.

"I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said. "I guess I let myself go."

The physician was checking her eyes and ears. "Don't feel
ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."

"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.

The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said,
"Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

[KIDAGIN]

Sperm Sample

There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So,
he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to
take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The
elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the
lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried
with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My
wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her
mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand,
mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend
too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the
specimen cup.

[KIDAGIN]

Watch where u put it

A man went to a plastic surgeon to get work done on his penis. The doctor,
curious, asked what had happened to it.

"Well," the patient said, "I live in a trailer court. A gorgeous creature
lives in the trailer next to mine. I used to peek into her trailer and I
saw that she had a habit. Each afternoon she'd take a frankfurter from her
refrigerator and put it in a hole on her trailer floor. Then she'd sit on
it and have a ball.

She nearly drove me crazy. So I got a bright idea. One day I got under her
trailer and when she slid the frankfurter into the hole, I slid it out and
slipped my penis up through the hole.

She sat down on it and everything was great until there was a knock at the
door."

"And then?" said the doctor.

"Aw hell," the patient explained. "That's when she tried to kick it under
the stove."