Post up Good Jokes!

[KIDAGIN]

Prime Minister Day

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year old Granddaughter and I asked her,
"What day is tomorrow?".

Without skipping a beat she said,
"It's Prime Minister Day!"

She's smart, so I asked her,
"What does Prime Minister Day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Harper or
one of the past Prime Ministers

She replied, "Prime Minister Day is when the
Prime Minister steps out of the House of Commons, and if he sees his shadow,
we have 4 more years of bullshit."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!

[Black Sheep]

Prime Minister Day

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year old Granddaughter and I asked her,
"What day is tomorrow?".

Without skipping a beat she said,
"It's Prime Minister Day!"

She's smart, so I asked her,
"What does Prime Minister Day mean?"
I was waiting for something about Harper or
one of the past Prime Ministers

She replied, "Prime Minister Day is when the
Prime Minister steps out of the House of Commons, and if he sees his shadow,
we have 4 more years of bullshit."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!

[ZR]

+1 ^^^

[KIDAGIN]

[CON VERT]

[KIDAGIN]

A young man joined the Army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went
through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and
higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane.
The next day, he called home to his father to tell him the news. "So, did
you jump?" the father asked. "Well, let me tell you what happened. We got up
in the plane, and the sergeant opened up the door and asked for volunteers.
About a dozen men got up and just walked out of the plane!" "Is that when
you jumped?" asked the father. "Um, not yet. Then the sergeant started to
grab the other men one at a time and throw them out the door." "Did you jump
then?" asked the father. "I'm getting to that. Every one else had jumped,
and I was the last man left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too
scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he'd kick my ass." "So,
did you jump?" "Not then. He tried to push me out of the plane, but I
grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally he called over to the Jump
Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy, about six-foot five, and 250
pounds. He said to me, 'Boy, are you gonna jump or not?' "I said, 'No, sir.
I'm too scared.'" "So the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took his
penis out. I swear, it was about ten inches long and as big around as a
baseball bat! "He said, 'Boy, either you jump out that door, or I'm sticking
this little baby up your ass.'" "So, did you jump?" asked the father. "Well,
a little, at first..." --------------------

[ZR]

LOL

[KIDAGIN]

A wise person once said:
1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best
moments in life are enjoyed without clothes.

2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS.

3. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband.

4. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg, & Budweiser.
Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

5. I haven't verified this on Snopes, but it sounds legit…
A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the man who mentions it!

[KIDAGIN]

A man boarded an aircraft at London Heathrow Airport 's Terminal 5 for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane.

He realized she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him. 'Hello', he blurted out, 'Business trip or vacation?'

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, 'Business. I'm going to the annual nymphomaniac convention in the United States .'

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, 'What's your business role at this convention?'

'Lecturer,' she responded. 'I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.'

'Really', he smiled, 'what myths are those?'

'Well,' she explained, 'one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish.'

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. 'I'm sorry,' she said 'I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!'

'Tonto,' the man said. 'Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy.'

[MUSTANGWOP]

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office naked but wrapped completely in clear plastic wrap...
The psychiatrist comes in the room and says " I can clearly see your nuts"