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Thread: Post up Good Jokes!

  1. #11
    Admin ZR's Avatar
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    Mar 2014
    Location
    Toronto, On
    Posts
    36,213
    I used to drink all brands of beer. Now, I am older Budweiser!



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  6. #16
    Member Ray721's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Bowmanville
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    1,686
    A Viking armada is sailing towards an uncharted island.

    The King looks at his crew and says,

    Ok men, rape the women and kill the men... let's get it right this time!!
    Follow me on Instagram @ray721_14gt for car pics and general shenanigans

    Because Rayscar!!!!

  7. #17
    KIDAGIN
    Guest
    The Cardiologist and the Motorcycle Mechanic
    A motorcycle mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a BMW M3 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop.

    The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?" The cardiologist, a bit surprised walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle.

    The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out, repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in and, when I finished, it worked just like new. So how is that I make $44,000 a year and you make $1.7M when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

    The cardiologist paused, leaned over and, with a small grin, whispered to the mechanic ...




    "Try doing it with the engine running."

  8. #18
    Super Moderator Stephen06GT's Avatar
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    Mar 2014
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    Bolton
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    ^^Good one Doug.

  9. #19
    Club Supporter Old Fart's Avatar
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    Mar 2014
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    Timmins
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    ^^Lol, lol, lol!!
    Mike

    04 GT
    89 LX...bye-bye!!
    67 Cougar x 2...should have kept them!

  10. #20
    KIDAGIN
    Guest
    Hello?'
    'Hi, honey.
    This is Daddy.
    Is Mommy near the phone?'

    'No, Daddy.
    She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
    After a brief pause,
    Daddy says,
    'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
    'Oh, yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy,
    right now.'
    Brief Pause.

    'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.
    Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs,
    knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy
    that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway.'
    'Okay, Daddy, just a minute.'
    A few minutes later
    The little girl comes back to the phone.

    'I did it, Daddy.'
    'And what happened, honey?'
    'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes
    on and ran around screaming.

    Then, she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser
    and now she isn't moving at all!'

    'Oh, my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?'
    'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too.
    He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window
    and into the swimming pool.But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
    Long Pause
    Longer Pause
    Even Longer Pause

    Then Daddy says,
    'Swimming pool? .............
    Is this 486-5731?'

    No, I think you have the wrong number ....

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