Post up Good Jokes!

[KIDAGIN]

One day, Harry came upon a big, long ladder that stretched into the clouds.
He'd walked this way every day and this ladder was never there before.
Curious and brave, he began to climb. Eventually, he climbed into the layer of clouds,
and saw this rather large, homely woman lying here on a cloud.
She spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry figured success had to be better than this, so he continued climbing.
He came upon another level of clouds, and found a thinner, cuter woman than before.
She also spoke, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry saw that his luck was changing and so continued his climb. On another level of clouds,
he found a rather attractive woman with not so bad of a figure.
She stated, "Take me now or climb the ladder to success!"
Harry really liked his advantage now! He climbed quickly and deftly, and sure enough, on the next level,
he found a gorgeous, lithe, well-endowed woman lying seductively on the cloud.
"Take me now or climb the ladder to success," she huskily whispered.
Harry couldn't believe his eyes, but his greed got the best of him. He climbed to the next level,
expecting Aphrodite or similar.
Suddenly, the ladder ends, and a latch closes behind him.
He looks over to see a 400 pound, 6'8" hairy biker- looking guy with tattoos.
The biker gets up and walks menacingly toward Harry.
Apprehensively, Harry whispers, "Who are you?"
The biker answers, "I'm Cess."

[ZR]

Well that didn't turn out well, yikes!!!

[KIDAGIN]

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Port Charlotte ..
She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book..
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
"How are you today?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book..
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.
"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" She asked.
Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ", he answered, and again he resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted,
"Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life
When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man,
"How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

[70XR7]

A widowed Jewish lady, still in good shape, was sunbathing on a totally deserted beach at Port Charlotte ..
She looked up and noticed that a man her age, also in good shape, had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand near hers and began reading a book..
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.
"How are you today?"
"Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book..
"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.
"First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book.
"I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away three years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" She asked.
Yes, I live over in Cape Coral ", he answered, and again he resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, she persisted,
"Do you like pussy cats?"
With that, the man dropped his book, came over to her blanket, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate lovemaking of her life
When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man,
"How did you know that was what I wanted?"
The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"

That's it!
I'm changing my name!

[ZR]

LOL

[ZR]

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob!

Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates? A: A tearjerker.

Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse? A: She's the one with the dirty knees.

Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob. A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can’t beat a blowjob.

Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.

[ZR]

One day grandpa says to grandma "Why don’t we go to the motel like we used to do when we were young and get kinky?" So they get to the motel and go into the room. Grandpa takes off his glasses and says he going to get into the shower to freshen up. In the meantime grandma takes off her clothes and gets into bed. She decides to do some leg stretches to limber up ( it’s been awhile ). Well she throws her legs over her head and they get caught in the headboard. Right then grandpa walks out of the bathroom and sees her that way. "My God woman" he says "you need to put your teeth in and comb your hair, you look like an asshole!"

[KIDAGIN]

[ZR]

OMG that is funny.

[ZR]

A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair." the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister: "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said: "That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas."