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Sex after surgery
A recent article in the Dominion Post reported that a woman, Anne Maynard,
has sued Wellington Hospital saying that after her husband had surgery there,
he had lost all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied:
"Mr. Maynard was admitted for cataract surgery.
All we did was correct his eyesight.”
Nasty but funny as hell.
Interesting!
Enjoy life
Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore ...
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.
Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he's achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst he was on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frig'n bike.
Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week.
He didn't take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels.
The sick bastard!!
The Agony of Aging
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, "You'd better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
SCAM
Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
Pregnant Prostitute
Doctor asks pregnant prostitute, "Do you know who the father is?" "For cryin' out loud! If you ate a tin of beans would you know which one made you fart?"
Scottish Wedding
At the Scottish wedding reception the D.J. yelled..."Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living" . The bartender was almost crushed to death.
LOL
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
Originally Posted by KIDAGIN
Ha ha. That reminds me of a time in my 20's when me and my group of friends would hang out at the local pub. I had the same Tv as the the one at the bar so I'd secretly bring my remote and randomly change the channels during important sporting events. The owner would go apeshit every time. LoL I never got caught
LOL.......nice prank.
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a bl*wjob."
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