Post up Good Jokes!

[ZR]

[ZR]

What deep thinkers men are... I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said 'nothing'. The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other questions.

Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion. A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child." On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts." I rest my case.

Time for another beer.

[ZR]

There once was a fellow O'Doole
Who found little red spots on his tool
His Doctor a cynic
said Get out of me clinic,
And wipe off that lipstick you fool!

[ZR]

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa; half discovered, half

wild,

fertile & naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe; well developed and open to

trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and

convinced

of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a

warm

and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and

all

conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war,

doesn't

make the same mistakes twice, takes care of

business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open

to

meeting new people.

After 70, she's like Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past

and

the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for

spiritual

knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 17 and 80, a man is like North Korea, ruled by a pair of

nuts.

That's the end today's geography lesson.

[ZR]

[ZR]

[ZR]

One day, all the parts of the body were talking about who was most important.

THE BRAIN SAID – “Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I am the most important therefore I should be boss.”

THE FEET SAID – “Since I carry him everywhere he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, I am the most important.”

THE EYES SAID – “Since I must look out for all of you and tell you where the danger lurks, I an the most important body part.”

THE HANDS SAID – “Since I do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I am the most important.”

Of course, everyone got into the arguments and the heart, lungs, and ears all say the same thing.

Finally, the ASSHOLE spoke up and pointed that he was the most important even though the others didn’t know it. All the others laughed and laughed to think of an ASSHOLE as being the boss.

The ASSHOLE decided to prove the point and refused to function. Blocked up tight.

Soon the brain was feverish, the eyes crossed and ached, the feet were too weak to walk, the hands hung limply at the sides, and the heart and lungs struggled to keep going.

They All pleaded with the ASSHOLE to relent and agreed that the ASSHOLE was the most important part of the body and so it happened.



The MORAL of the story is that the ASSHOLE always ends up being the boss

[RedSN]

[Blackmare]

"Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?
"Because your Mother loves roses."
"Thanks Dad."
"No problem B.J."

[ZR]

Can't believe how many peeps missed punch line this one n pm'd asking why I posted it. LOL