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When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.
Not really a joke but funny news story (ie. Dumb People Town)
http://www.miamiherald.com/news/nati...178565426.html
He recognized the robber and asked 'Is that you?' The man replied 'No, it's not me,' police say
BY DONOVAN HARRELL
OCTOBER 12, 2017 6:23 PM
Dressed in black clothes and wearing a black ski mask, the man entered the Baton Rouge, Louisiana KFC. He pointed a gun at the employees and demanded money.
Employees emptied the cash registers and gave the man the $612 inside. But two employees noticed something familiar about the robber’s voice and facial features “visible through the holes” in his ski mask.
“Cleveland, is that you?” one of the employees asked, according to East Baton Rouge Parish Sheriff's police records of the Oct. 3 incident.
“No, it’s not me” Cleveland Willis, 28, the suspected robber replied, according to police records.
Willis worked for the KFC for “several months” with the same coworkers he’s suspected of robbing. He was also seen seen driving away from the crime scene in a silver Nissan Altima, the same car he used to go to work in, according to police records.
Willis faces a charge of armed robbery. Bail hasn’t been set yet.
Don’t let people distract from the fact that: 5 ways for man to be completely happy.
1. Be with a woman who makes you laugh
2. Be with a woman who gives you her time
3. Be with a woman who takes care of you
4. Be with a woman who really loves you
5. Finally, make sure these four women don’t know each other! (For your survival)
^ Pure gold.
After 7 years of medical training & hard work, a very good friend of mine has been fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training & money. Shows how one minor mistake can ruin one's career.
He was a genuinely nice guy and a brilliant veterinarian.
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick,
and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked,
"Say Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest replies, "My Son, it's caused by loose living,
being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol,
contempt for your fellow man,
sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath!"
The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be damned,"
then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized.
"I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong.
How long have you had arthritis?"
The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father.
I was just reading here that the Pope does."
-Don____________
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