Post up Good Jokes!

[ZR]

It was Christmas Eve. A woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping. Later on that night when she was getting undressed for bed, he noticed a mark on the inside of her leg. "What is that?" he asked. She said, "I visited the tattoo parlor today. On the inside of one leg I had them tattoo 'Merry Christmas,' and on the inside of the other one they tattooed 'Happy New Year.'" Perplexed, he asked, "Why did you do that?" "Well," she replied, "now you can't complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New Years!"

[ZR]

Mickey Mouse is in the middle of a nasty divorce from Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane," said the judge. Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's f*cking Goofy!"

[Canadianii]

I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language so is I do is the longest sentence?

[The Newmare]

Willy came home from school with a teachers note: wash Willy he smells,parent sends back a note......teach Willy don't smell him!!

[KIDAGIN]

A Kentucky Redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him,
“Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, five big baby boys."
The redneck said, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney."
The nurse replied, "You might consider getting it cleaned..... They’re all black."

[ZR]

^^^ Funny as hell.

[Slope]

A Kentucky Redneck went to the hospital, as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving, he sat down as the nurse said to him,
“Congratulations, your wife has had quintuplets, five big baby boys."
The redneck said, "I'm not surprised. I have a penis the size of a chimney."
The nurse replied, "You might consider getting it cleaned..... They’re all black."

Had a good roar to this one!!!

LMFAO, thank you.

[twister]

little johnny was playing with his pecker behind the couch and his mother caught him... and said if you keep doing that johnny you will go blind... and johnny's response was can i do it till i need glasses... roflao

[ZR]

LOL Dave.

[ZR]

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,'" and he left. The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple were still waiting. While waiting, they began to wonder what would happen if it didn't work out; could you get a divorce in heaven? After yet another month, St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!," St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"