Post up Good Jokes!

[KIDAGIN]

Subject: Stick Em Up

A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He
goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says
"But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he
replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm
samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she
looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks
it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that
one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and
says, "See honey - its not that hard."

[ZR]

Yikes but lol

[ZR]

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. That night the two were having sex and found themselves in the 69 position. The man felt the urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, "Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."

[KIDAGIN]

^^^^lol

[ZR]

Sorry can't meantion the name, was sworn to secrecy.

[Slope]

Sorry can't meantion the name, was sworn to secrecy.

So THAT'S how you lost the 3".

Was hard to watch from the closet.

[ZR]

Sadly down to 9 brother but doin the best I can.

[KIDAGIN]

Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were all talking one day.

Sleeping Beauty said, "I believe myself to be the most beautiful girl in the world."

Tom Thumb said, "I must be the smallest person in the world."

Quasimodo said, "I absolutely have to be the ugliest person in the world."

They decided to go to the Guinness Book of World Records to have their claims verified.

Sleeping Beauty went first and came out looking deliriously happy
"It's official, I AM the most beautiful girl in the world,"

Tom Thumb went next and emerged triumphant,
"I am officially the smallest person in the world."

Sometime later, Quasimodo came out looking confused and simply stated,
"Who the fuck is Camilla Parker Bowles?"

[KIDAGIN]

The only cow in a small town in Alberta, Canada, stopped
giving milk. The people did some research and found they
could buy a cow up in Melfort, Saskatchewan, for $200. They
bought the cow from Saskatchewan and the cow was wonderful.
It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people
were pleased and very happy.
They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and
produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry
about their milk supply again.
They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their
beloved cow. However, whenever the bull came close to the
cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the
bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he
could not succeed in his quest.
The people were very upset and decided to ask the local
veterinarian, who was very wise, what to do. They told
the vet what was happening.
"Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away"
they said. "If he approaches from the back, she moves
forward. When he approaches her from the front, she
backs off. An approach from the side and she walks away
to the other side."
The veterinarian thinks about this for a minute and asks,
"Did you buy this cow in Saskatchewan?"
The people were dumbfounded, since they had never
mentioned where they bought the cow. "You are truly a
wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow
in Saskatchewan?"
The veterinarian replied, with a distant look in his eye,
"My wife is from Saskatchewan."

[KIDAGIN]

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two 'working girls' and
take them to their separate hotel rooms.

The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection. His depression is
made worse by the fact that, from the next room, he hears his friend
shouting out cries of... "Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!"
"Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE... UGH!" "Here I come again! ONE,
TWO, THREE... UGH!"... ALL NIGHT LONG.

In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first, "How did it go?" The
first mutters, "It was embarrassing. I just couldn't get an erection."

The second dwarf shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing? I
couldn't even get on the bed."